Why the Red Sox Suck
Buzz Killington makes another contribution to PunkWorldViews (ooh, it’s been too long!) 🙂
Why the Boston Red Sox Suck
“While the team is very good, the fans and many commentators make me want to puke. Being from there, speaking with an accent, and acting “hard” because you’re from Boston (or more than likely some suburb or village near Boston) is bad enough.. but I’m willing to overlook that. Boston is a fun ass city, but it’s the Red Sox fans that aren’t from there and never lived there that really make me want to puke. Most of these people have never been BEEN to Boston… front running bastards. It’s a sad day when I have to say a Yankee fan is now way less annoying than a Red Sox fan. *sigh*
And these announcers! URRRRRR! That was the sound of my death metal puke, because they indeed make me want to. When I hear the word scrappy used in describing a Red Sox team whose $200 million payroll has more pork then Ted Kennedy, I go a little crazy (then I puke). You are NOT scrappy with a payroll like that. You’re supposed to win all the time. But fear not, Boston! I have a plan so you can redeem yourselves. You must solve it with drunken violence. All you real Bostonians start attacking people in Red Sox gear not from Boston. The rules are you have to have lived in Boston at some point. However, the real rules are it ain’t where you’re from, it’s where you pay the rent. But hey.. we’re trying to be open minded over here.
Boston, only you can stop it. The only other choice is to have the Honorable Senator Kennedy challenge them to a drinking contest, drown them, or raise their taxes.
Red Sox suck.”
*****
About the Author
Denise Borders 39, Los Angeles. Denise founded PWV in 2008 and remains the primary manager and photographer/videographer. She is not secretly obsessed with Joey Cape.
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